Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Two years ago today, my life was forever changed by the sound of YOU crying as they placed your slippery body on my chest. You looked directly into my tear filled eyes as I held you in disbelief. Your Daddy and I kept saying, “He’s ours! Can you believe it! He’s finally here!”
The two years before you were born, our hearts were heavy and longed for a baby. After two miscarriages, I started to accept and embrace that God’s plan for us to become parents might look different than I had expected. I had no idea how it would all play out.
Two weeks after our second miscarriage Eric was diagnosed with testicular cancer. I can remember the numb feeling that came over my entire body when the doctor told us that surgery was necessary. Our entire mindset changed in an instant as we realized that our focus needed to be on getting Eric well. One night while we were lying in bed just a few days before the surgery, I told Eric that maybe God was allowing this because we weren’t supposed to have biological children. Eric said that it might God’s plan or maybe God was allowing this trial so that when we did have our own children HE would get all of the glory. Eric reminded me of Gideon’s army in the Bible and how God may be reducing our army as well. After surgery our chances of conceiving were literally cut in half.
You can imagine the shock when TWO pink lines appeared on the pregnancy test only 3 weeks after Eric had the cancerous testicle removed. We both laughed out loud as I dreamed about the possibility of a baby in 9 months. With my history of miscarriages I was obviously NERVOUS and was monitored closely throughout the first and second trimester.
THE MOST WONDERFUL SOUND IN THE WORLD
It was rather humorous those first few months of pregnancy. Eric was feeling the effects of the radiation killing any cancer cells that may have been left behind and I was feeling the effects of my body nourishing your tiny life. We both spent the evenings on the couch exhausted and nauseous. One thing was for sure, we were thankful. We had our first ultrasound scheduled when I was six weeks pregnant with you. We waited as the doctor started to examine me with the ultrasound machine. It was so quiet I thought I could hear my own heart beating until the doctor said, ‘That’s the sound of your baby’s heart beating.” He pointed to your tiny heart as it pumped blood through your body. Your daddy and I both started to cry as we heard a sound we had never heard before…the sound of OUR baby’s heart. You’re heart.
Two and a half years later our house is filled with the sound of your sweet voice singing the Firetruck song or laughing as we all wrestle on the floor. I love that Daddy is your best friend and you love emulating everything he does. I love the way you still cuddle me in the mornings as we watch
Posted by Soderin Family at 8:24 PM